My Transition Lessons: Patience Is Key

This is the final installment of my transition lesson series, and I cannot tell you how important it was for me to learn this while I was transitioning.  

This was the key: I could not make my hair grow any faster than it was going to grow. 

This was/is the problem: I am not the most patient person.  I have a reputation for being extremely impatient. I’m REALLY good at being impatient. 

So what I had to do was find ways to entertain myself so that I wasn’t always thinking about my hair because the fact of the matter is, as I have stated before, you hair isn’t going to grow faster just because you want it to and there is no product that can make your hair grow any faster than its going to grow. So no matter what you do, your growth is going to pretty much be the same from month to month. So you have to do things to take your focus off your hair length.  Experiment with styles. I went through a period where I was doing a different style every week or two depending on when I washed my hair. My go-to style was a roller set but I played around a lot & that is what helped the 15 months of transitioning fly by.  Before I knew it, my hair was saying “I need to be chopped woman!”

Also, keep in mind that, while you're using the resources available to you, that a lot of the videos you will find that have a lot of views or sites you will find that have a lot of feedback, show people who have been natural for a long time. So their hair may be longer than yours.  Even if you look at someones video or blog post that was done when they were pretty much at the same point that you are, how their hair grows would be different than yours. I don't know about other people, but I had to keep reminding myself that the folks I was watching had been natural for over a year, or had been transitioning for many months when they recorded the video I may have been watching at the time. Add to that the fact that their hair is not mine, how they treat their hair would be different from how I treated mine & a plethora or other variables were in place that would affect how their hair grew in relationship to mine. So I had to make myself focus more on the information than the length of their hair. It took some time to get there, but once I got there, I was good to go.

So be patient. And remember that the only way to quickly get through the transitioning process is to big chop. So if you're not ready for that, pump your breaks, slow your roll, chill out...you get the picture.

Happy transitioning!!!

TTFN!!!

Literary Love

One of the things I love to do is read books that are written in or based in other time periods. I enjoy period writing because it puts you in eras that you didn’t get to experience on your own.  But one thing that's really interesting is to read a book set within your own time and come to realize of how much things have changed just in however long you’ve been living.

I tend to forget that, when I was younger, folks didn’t have computers in their houses and many companies who had computers started out with only having a few, depending on the size of the company.  My mom used to work for a major insurance company and even she remembers when a computer & all that was needed for it to work properly basically took up a whole office.  Even though I can recall not having a computer at home, not typing papers out but writing them all by hand, it’s hard to recall that there was a time with fax machines, computers and even cell phones were not a part of our daily lives…and I didn’t get my 1^st cell phone until 11 or 12 years ago!

Then also, I read books that are set in the future…and the future is 5-20 years from NOW.  It’s so funny to me when I sit a think about it. I just finished reading The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler, which begins set in 2025 with a collapsed government & dying resources. Hmmm. Not even 12 years down the road.  And I’ve also been reading a trilogy by Frank Peretti and the 1^st two books in the trilogy are set in the 80s and early 90s.  No cell phones, one fax machine in a town, newspapers still put together with printing presses. I mean, who even thinks about that when today, damn near everybody has some level of tech savvy…no matter how old you are. Toddlers know how to work a phone & so do 60, 70 & 80 year olds. And newborns & toddlers today will never really experience writing a paper by hand. I mean, I remember writing out paper after paper, and I having to wait until I got to school to ask for a pass to the computer lab so I could go type my paper up. Oh, and typing a paper on typewriter! Who still uses those? Other than Danielle Steele? Even when I got to college I would write my papers out before I went to type them in the computer lab.  Now, if I sit to write anything longer than a grocery list, my wrist starts hurting, my handwriting gets sloppy & looks kind of stroke-ish and my fingers start to hurt from holding the writing utensil.  How crazy is that! I mean, seriously, all we really write out now is our name…if we can’t use an electronic signature. LOL. So to read a book & go into a time where those seemingly simple conventions that we have today don’t exist, that staged during my lifetime, I have to sit back and say “oh yeah…those didn’t always exist.”

That’s what I love, love, love about reading. Aside from getting read about different cultures, different eras & different ideals (albeit from a sometimes biased point of view), you get different viewpoints & ideals from many different backgrounds, because different people experience the same thing in different ways. I’ve retained more history from reading fiction & looking up historical info on a little bit of fact than I did from the entire time I was in school! I still suck at dates & some names, but the information… like Ragu, it’s in there!

That’s what I love about the library. As much I love to buy books and as much as I love my Kindle, some books that are 20 & 30 years old have the same list price as books that are written today, and I’m not looking to spend that much on EVERY book I buy.  Then you have books by authors that you don’t know, that are recommended to you by friends or your bookseller sites & you want to try them out, so you go to the library, grab 1 or 2…or 10, and read away.  It’s awesome! If you get a book that is a dud for you, finish it or not, you can always return it.  For years I had stopped going to the library because I was on a book-buying-frenzy. Then I bought a few duds…Hola la Biblioteca! Now I’m so swamped with books I can’t finish them in time.  But that’s okay with me. LOL

TTFN!!

Jazz Fest 2012 part 3...Day 2- The Finale'

On to  Day 2!

Sunday was another day on my feet and it was HOT y’all!!! I mean…hot! And the sun was bright with hardly any cloud cover. A huge change from the day before.

But hot or not, I was still on my feet & still partying!  John Pizzarelli came out and gave a wonderful show.  Then came Najee, who started his set on the ground with us and making his way through the crowd.  Two whole songs…Najee and the people! It was wundebar!!!  Then, I got a pic of Najee and me!!!

Soooo Dave Koz & George Benson didn’t have M&G’s, but that didn’t surprise me as they were the major headliners.  I got plenty of pics of them in performance and that works for me!!!



Dave Playing...this man, like I said, moves constantly! I got more pics w/my dad's camera...those will be for ME!



George playing



George singing



Overall, the jazz fest was amazing! There was only one major down point…the local press. You would have thought they were in CA or NY taken pics of celebs to sell to rags.  They were abundantly rude and ridiculous! One chick bogarted her way into the crowd while George was playing without muttering a single “excuse me” or asking folks to move out of her way, then planted herself in front of someone who was much shorter than her! When the lady advised the overzealous giraffe of a photog that she couldn’t see, the bitch said “I’m press” and totally dismissed the girl!!!! After I informed her, very loudly (George was playing after all), that her press pass was not a BITCH BADGE…and she could only get pics of the monitor from where she was standing, she moved out of the girls way, but I’m like…seriously though?!  And the majority of the press folk were like that. So, needless to say…I have no respect for them anymore.  I mean, my step-dad was a photographer and he was never that ugly.  Other than those jerk wads, the other people who were there were really nice and personable.  And everyone really worked with and around each other in a respectful manner…except for the press.

So, that’s all I have to say for this year’s jazz fest.  I absolutely can’t wait until next year! I had the best time.  I danced for hours, spent time with family and friends & had 2 days where absolutely nothing could bring me down! And nothing did…not even the bitch from the press. LOL.

Now, as for my hair, as you can see I had it twisted in mini twists. The goal was to keep them in for 3 weeks...I barely made it a week and a half. All that sweating and rain & humidity had my scalp growling! The lesson: I may never have mini twists in for 2 weeks. LOL

TTFN!!



Richmond Jazz Fest part 2...Day 1

On to the international supa-stars!

I originally planned to go the festival both days, with the exception being that if one day held artists whom I’d already seen, I would possibly not go on that day, and save some money.  That reasoning flew out of the window the DAY the lineup was released. Here’s the list of artists I have loved listening to for years, but had not seen live:

Kim Waters

Dave Koz

Bebe Winans

Brian Simpson

John Pizzarelli

Najee

George Benson

Now, let me make this perfectly clear: I HAD TO SEE GEORGE BENSON AND DAVE KOZ! Point blank, period. There was no question about it. Had to, had to, had to! Did you get that?  I have been listening to both of them for longer than I can remember and have wanted to see them live since I was old enough to go to a concert without parental permission.  For the others, I have followed them for years as well, but I pretty much know and can pinpoint when I first heard them.  So, here’s a quick list of who & when…

Najee: First heard in 93 while in NC. NC has always had good jazz stations while RVA…not so much.

Brian Simpson:  I don’t remember the year exactly, but it was Christmas 96 or 97.  Heard him singing the Charlie Brown Christmas song…it was the 1^st time that song didn’t annoy me & I’ve listened to it with different ears ever since.

Kim Waters: 2001, coming home from Wal-mart, listening to a local broadcast of the Dave Koz Radio Show that was, unfortunately, short-lived in RVA.

Bebe Winans: Whatever year “Addictive Love” hit the airways. A while later I learned it was supposed to be a gospel song…and that he & Cece were siblings…

Needless to say, the lineup had me super hype, and it totally lived up to the excitement. Starting with Kim

Waters, whose performance it rained for in the beginning…but the sun came out & the party continued.

Then there was Dave featuring Brian and Bebe. And Dave Koz & his band move the ENTIRE time they

are on the stage! So much energy and no down time.  And to top it all off, I was the last person to run in

& see Kim Waters at the meet and greet and I got a pic with him!!!

I mean, autographs are nice but the last thing I need is another piece of paper to hold on to…unless its

money or a check. Pictures are so much better!

Oh! I almost forgot, there was this dude from WA that came through named Allen Stone.  Seeing him

was a complete accident but, I tell you, it was an accident worth making! I got my timing mixed up for

Kim Waters and by the time someone who was sitting behind us at stage one let me know my error, my

family & I were already packed up…so we kept it moving.  He was well worth the error. I was

expecting a little country/rock-esque performance after seeing him standing on stage but that man with a

60s/70s Woodstock era look was full of pure soul! I thoroughly enjoyed his performance.

Richmond Jazz Festival 2012...Part 1

OMG I just had the best weekend ever!

This past weekend was the jazz fest in RVA.  This was the 3^rd year for the event & my 2^nd year going.  I went first year but was unable to make it last year due to finances.  So this year, I put money aside to be able to go, and after learning about the line-up, I was so glad I did.

The jazz fest for RVA lasts 3 days. Friday through Sunday, with the Saturday and Sunday performances being held outside at Maymont Park.  During the fest there is a showing of local talent as well as world renowned jazz artists.  I was super excited for the event this year because 11 of the slated artists were people I have listened to for years, of whom 7 I had never seen perform live.  And they were oh so worth the wait.

My hope is that this would be a short post, but I’m not holding my breath.  If I can’t keep it short, there will be multiple posts.

First, the local talent:

One thing that kind of irked me about the local talent slots has nothing to do with the actual talent, but with the fact that the presence of the local talent was referred to as “sudden.”  Like “all of a sudden” there’s this “surge” in local talent.  Now, I don’t know if the announcer for stage 2 made the same references, but that statement couldn’t be further from the truth.   VA has always had an abundance of talented musical artists.  Some of them have just not been highlighted/showcased in RVA in the way that the jazz fest allows…because the jazz fest didn’t exist in RVA until 2010!  Just because the folks who dealt with the jazz fest have become “suddenly” aware does not mean that VA’s talent suddenly appeared. Those folks work their asses off on a regular bases to get noticed in RVA, NVA & HVA, and you don't suddenly appear when you work that hard.

I could go on but I think that pretty much shows how much that statement stuck in my craw. And it was said REPEATEDLY!!!! I wanted to scream…in a bad way. But as I step off my soapbox, I will say that the local talent presented at the festival this year were great. I can only speak to the groups I saw, but Joye B. Moore, Doors Wide Open, Sharon Rae North , K.G. Experience & Anhayla…whose CD I quickly purchased because I loved the message of her title track…and her voice was beautiful and I like supporting young artists…or artists who are younger than me (I think I’m still young….LOL).

Ok…that’s long enough for this post.

TTFN

My Transition Lessons: Use the Resources Available to You

I cannot stress this enough.  In today’s world of technology, there is absolutely no reason for someone to do anything without having some additional information to help them in their journey.  Yes you can talk to friends and professionals, but good grief! With Google & YouTube…there is so much information at your fingertips!  All you have to do is search for it, and take the time to look through it. To make your journey your own, you really should research by getting multiple opinions and ideas so you can filter what you want to take, and what you don't think will work for you.  And depending on where you are on your journey will determine what/who does & doesn't work for you.

I have found folks on YouTube and at the beginning of my journey, they were either TMI, or just not what I was looking for. Now, I subscribe to just about all of the ones that I once thought were TMI. As I have continued on my journey I have found more bloggers & vloggers who seem to have hair textures closer to mine, whereas, when I was transitioning, I didn't what the heck my texture was going to look like, so I couldn't figure out who or what to look for, so I looked for those who had good information presented in a concise manner & that's what I went with. But now, almost a year after my BC, I have found blogs, vlogs, books, websites and communities full of natural hair insight and information simply by searching Google and YouTube. You can get all the information you could ever want through a computer, smart phone or tablet.

Don’t be unaware when you don’t have to be. And that's with anything. Not just your hair journey.

Return of the Curls Hair Expo & Fashion Show

OK folks, this is more than likely a one-time deal. I'm not into the whole YouTube video scene for myself. While I love watching other folks do their videos...because they like doing what they do, I did this vid because it was the easier alternative to the usual posting pics and writing out descriptions, & then trying to detail what I thought, if I enjoyed it. blahblahblah.

I don't know if I'll ever do another video. So for now, enjoy this one....if you can. LOL

TTFN!!

My Transition Lessons: Heat Isn’t Necessary

This was and is a major lesson for me.  When I was relaxed I was a heat MANIAC!  Flat irons, curlers, bumpers, different sizes, different heat abilities, auto shut off for the days I had to run out in a hurry, 60-second heat ups for the days when I needed a quick fix…you name it, I had it.  Two blow dryers, one ceramic, one…not (that one broke) and a hooded dryer.  All for lil ole me!    I used to use enough heat on my hair to cook breakfast and dinner on Easter Sunday!

Needless to say, the first thing I thought I was going to do when I stopped getting my hair braided during my transition was flat iron my hair so that my roots and my processed ends matched.  That’s the easiest thing to do, after all, right?

Well, here’s the reality of what happened.  My last perm was June 15, 2010. I had my hair braided/twisted repeatedly from July 2010 until March 2011. I flat ironed my hair in March 2011 so that my mom could do a trim for me, and again in May 2011 so I could have a nice length check and straight hair for my birthday. Then I did Protecting Your Crown & Glory's Take Back Your Hair Challenge & as a result of actually learning to deal with my transitioning hair textures, then doing my BC, I have refrained from doing any heat styling since May 13, 2011. That’s over a year! I have only applied heat to my hair by way of the hooded dryer about every week for my DC.  There were a couple of months when I was working with All Tressed Up and I would have to sit under the dryer for the setting of some of the styles, but that was still only once every 2-3 weeks.

Who would’ve thunk that I could do that?! I surely didn’t. But what I did for the remainder of my transition were roller sets, twist-outs and up-dos that required no heat at all. Truth be told, while I would like to see how much my hair has grown by pulling out the flat iron, I really don’t have the desire to put heat on my hair for styling purposes, so I'll have to continue doing the hair pull down with my fingers.

Now I have all these styling tools sitting latent in my closet.

Now, if you can't tell, that's 8 curlers, 2 flat irons, an electric straitening comb and a set of heated rollers. Then there are the heat protectants I bought of which I've only used 1 of the twice. I'm not getting rid of them because, who knows, in another year, I may follow through on a desire to straighten my hair again, but for now...say hello to the dust collectors everybody!

I’m not saying that you can’t or shouldn’t use heat styling while transitioning.  Correction, you really shouldn't. For the health of your hair, but, if you are properly protecting your hair and not burning or melting it, I don’t think its that much of a bad thing depending on how often you use them.  I would suggest going heat free for a while just to see how you handle your hair and how your hair responds. For me, once I discovered that heat-free styling worked and worked well, I ran with it and I am in no hurry to to go back! I have even made plans to straighten my hair over the past year and every time I go to even blow dry my hair and say..Naaaahhhh! I don't need it.