Okay I am oh so late, but I'm here!! Sixteen months relaxer free and one and a half months au naturale!!

I'm in love with my hair (insert Target theme song here*)! I have been saying over and over again that this not the hair I remember from my childhood and that hormones are a good thing!! I love touching it! Fluffing it! Washing it! I'm just loving it!

And OMG my hair has grown so much!!! I never expected this much growth in what seems to be such a short amount of time, but from my BC to now, its been growing like weeds! Check out the "Jackson Fro!"

So, how have I been wearing my hair? I wore a puff after I took out my comb twists that were styled  by my friend Kenyada at her salon. I must say, the first time I wore the puff, I was so timid and unsure about it because, even though I had been transitioning for 15 months, I've been a "have a lil curl" girl. I hadn't worn any puff-type styles while I was transitioning so I was a little bit scared about the fist puff. But last week, a month after the fist puff, I sported one again and I was bold with it! I felt much more confident about it. 



Puff #1



Puff #2 (Result of 4-day old mini twist-out below)

My primary style has been mini twists. I've worn them for a week or two at a time and would do a twist out for a couple of days in between.



Mini Twist-Out



Here's what I love about the mini twists: They are durable! No muss, no fuss. I can work out out and rinse the sweat out of them. i can wet them daily and put some oil in my hair to seal in the moisture. I have to admit, the first time I did them, like the puff, I was unsure. I didn't like the initial turnout because I had never done them before and it was new...I thought maybe a little too new. But they grew on me, and I got a lot of compliments on them...that always helps!



I'm considering doing a roller set in the near future so I can see how that goes now that I'm totally natural. I wanted to do it before the weather broke for winter, but I think winter has come about a month early because we barely broke 50 degrees in VA today. If I don't get to try it out now, I will just have to wait until spring because these dropping temps are not playing around and I don't want to risk damage to my lovely natural ends. Other than that, I think I'm going to keep it going with the mini-twists during the winter months, maybe with some flat twist styles in there to break up the monotony...if it starts to feel monotonous. Right now, it just feels great, and it may never really feel monotonous because I was a person who pretty much wore the same style every single day while I was processed. It was easy to achieve and maintain.... The twists are the same way. So, we'll see what the winter holds. I may just find some styles for them and leave the flat twists alone. I have plenty of time for variety. Its not like I'm going back to perms any time soon... or ever! Maybe I'll do one new style a season...Hmmmmmmm.



Snip...Snip....OH SNAP!!!!

I BIG CHOPPED!!!!!!!!!

My initial intentions were to wait another month to do it and I just could not continue to fight with my hair any longer.  I transitioned for about 15 months and during that transition I took some time to really learn my hair and what I learned was this: I was having too much breakage the longer I transitioned. The first 12 to 13 months were pretty good, but the last two months, I could hear my processed ends breaking.  Even with me taking care to make sure I was handling my hair gently (I am very heavy handed and quite impatient) I was having more and more breakage. So after a few a weeks of mental preparation, I decided I needed to go ahead and make the jump from "transitioner" to "natural girl." So I called on my friend and natural stylist Kenyada via her business, http://www.alltressedup.net/ and told her I was ready to chop.

She was so excited for me. More excited than I was at the time. True, I had been treating my hair like it was natural for months, but those processed ends gave me length in spite of shrinkage. Remember, I was always the girl with short hair who wanted the long, thick beautiful hair that all my friends had.  But, the closer I got to the day of my appointment, the more I talked about doing my BC. I stopped saying it with uncertainty and trepidation that I really felt ("I might do my big chop" or "I'm supposed to do my BC soon") and began to say it with an assurance that made people, including myself, think I was ready to do the 'do.

My appointment was filled with a lot of exhaling. A lot of deep breathing. A lot of reflecting. A lot of healing conversation with my friend and stylist.  In the end, I walked out of there feeling emotionally lighter, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and 100% natural with a big smile on my face. I don't think I've ever smiled that much in my life over my own happiness. Being happy for others, sure, but not for me. I was so happy and smiling so hard that my cheeks were sore by the time I made it home.

I had so many congrats and well wishes from friends who were excited for me about my big chop! I definitely felt the love from my community of natural sisters. Now I'm excited to see what this change that feel in me is going to mean for my life.  I remember watching a Lenny Kravitz interview years ago (LOVE HIM!!) and in it, he recalled the day he decided to cut off his locs.  I don't remember all of the interview very well now, but what stuck with me is how he spoke of when his ex-wife (Lisa Bonet) cut his locs for him and he felt and saw them fall, he felt like he had an emotional and spiritual cleanse.  Like a weight had been lifted from his soul and I think he said he shed a tear or two, but don't quote me on that.  I remember thinking that it sounded like such a powerful experience and found it interesting that he got all of that from a hair cut.  But now, I kind of understand. Its the letting go of something that you had been holding on to for so long, in spite of how cumbersome or damaging it may have been. I had been hanging on to the desire for long, straight, pretty hair for so long (over 20 years) that, even after transitioning, I had such a hard time thinking about letting go of the processed hair that allowed me to hang on to that little bit of length that I had. Each time I saw "all that hair" fall away from my head, and every time I caught a glimpse of my developing 'fro in the mirror, I had these huge, audible, loaded exhales. But after letting it go I felt a little lighter and a little more free. I felt that I was ready to release a lot of things that had been laying on me for so long...along with some of my hair. I walked out of the shop feeling lighter, wide awake, free and ready to party for a few hours with my sore cheeks and happy squeals!

So, big chop...DONE!!!!

Now, its all natural!

Making It Work

This week has been a big ball of stress. Well manages stress, but stress nonetheless.

It started with that heifer Hurricane Irene that knocked out my power as I was prepping appetizers for a birthday dinner for a friend. Irene also knocked out my cable and internet and, 7 days later, I am still without it. So for the past week, I have had to drive in to work as opposed to being working at home as normal.  While I have power and finally have my phones back, the lack of internet and TV is bugging the mess out of me!!!  I’m not one of those people who is unaware of how much I depend on my TV. I am aware of how much TV I watch and I know why I do it, so I am exceptionally peeved that I have not been able to relax after work and watch TV for a couple of hours for the last 7 days. Add to that having to drive into work for the past 5 days. Gas-traffic-pedestrians-oh my! And while I miss the people I worked with in the office, I do not miss the office environment at all.

Anyway, I could continue to vent about that situation but that is not the focus of this post for today. Today’s post is about making it work. “It” being my hair this week. So, on to that: The benefit of working at home is that I have not had to put my hands in my hair daily & had plenty of time for trials and plenty of time to correct any errors I've made in execution of styles. Thank goodness because I needed those experiences to lean on for this week. I have also come to the conclusion that I have been doing a lot of protective styling on my hair and, hello, its summer! This is the time of year I can wear my ends out without risking much damage to them. So, my choice of style for this week has been a variation of a flat twist-out.

What I did was an off center part and had 3 somewhat chunky flat twists going to the left on the left side of my head, two going to the back on the right front side of my head and four flat twists going down across the back of my head, leaving the crown out. At the crown of my head I had from 8-10 two strand twists. This was the result:

Here’s the view from the back.  Okay, can I take a minute and marvel at the difference in color between my processed ends and my natural hair!!! That’s going to be just a memory in a little while. Excuse the fuzzitude of the hair. This pic was taken today...day 6 of this style.

So, my goal for this week was to make my hair work, no matter what happened. The first few days were okay because the products in my hair were new/fresh, it had been freshly washed and hadn't been messed with too much. Days 4 and 5 were a little bit of a challenge because some of the ends were fuzzy (see the pic from the back taken at the end of the workday on day 6). To maintain it from day to day I put a little water in my hair from my trusty spray bottle, then retwisted the hair each night and rolled the twists on cold wave/perm rods. In the middle of the week I added a little more foam wrap to help the processed ends continue to follow the directions of the rods. Making the hair work was a success! I'm happy with the results and I received so many compliments from coworkers and friends about how healthy and nice my hair looked.

Products used for this style: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, Jane Carter Wrap and Roll, African Pride (I think) Nature's Shine Oil (used daily on hands while untwisting), Water and light EVOO (for retwisting at night).

I made sure after applying the Shea Moisture that it was fully distributed into the hair and showing no white residue before applying the Wrap and Roll. If you don't do that, the white color of the product will not fade and will be held in your hair by the Wrap and Roll. The result was the best flat twist out I have ever had, with both moisture and hold in the hair and I was able to separate the sections for the two strand twists without losing the crinkle of the natural hair and without frizzing the processed ends. Definitely will be used again...especially if I still don't have internet next week and have to venture back into the main office. *gag me*

I will try to post a pic of the pre-bed hair so you can see what I did at night.

Peace!

Piggin' Out

Leave it to me to find a way to eat unhealthily while going vegetarian for a a few days. The last couple of days have not been my proudest moment but they, I'll move on from them. On the other hand, I did stick to being meatless. I just had a major hankering for some sweets.

So, here's the good and the bad. I ended up going back to the store to grab a couple of things that I didn't know I was running out of when I went shopping last week. This means I have spent entirely too much money at the grocery store for one paycheck.  While I was there, with my ridiculous sweet tooth, I said "I'll get me some cake." Then, instead of a whole cake, I settled on half a cake. Then, instead of half a cake, I got a small cheesecake...none of the above was a good choice, but I am happy to say that I only have had 1 slice of the cheesecake and its been in my fridge for almost 3 days now.  The other thing I did was buy some fruits to make some sweet baked treats, but make them a little healthier than if I bought them pre-made from the store. The best thing I've made so far? Something that I'm calling Blue Bonnets. I'll post the recipe for that later but I just wanted to come on here and fess up to the not so good food choices that I made the past couple of days.

In other news, I'm thinking that this vegetarian thing may go a little longer than originally intended, for a few reasons. One: My hair looks better and is shinier and feels better. Two: this little slip up, or poor choice stint is liable to happen more often than not, but the fact that I went through it and didn't eat anything that I said I wasn't going to eat and worked to find a way to cater to a craving without going overboard is saying something for my efforts. So sticking with it longer would certainly be to my benefit. Three: Out of all of this money I have spent on food, I haven't done any frivolous shopping...that's always a plus. So if spending more money on food that good for me leads to me making better choices on how I spend my money and sticking to that curse word "budget" that can't be wrong right? And finally, for tonight, Four: I have only had one bad bout with heartburn and acid reflux in seven days! I have had an issue with those two devils for more years than I care to count due to an condition that I have. So all things point to good for this first week of going veggie/meatless and I look forward to what next week will bring. I have some kale that I need to cook up before it goes bad.

Good night people!

Veggin' Out

A few days ago, the desire to go meatless/vegetarian for a couple of weeks hit me. You know how people say "when you're ready to do it, you'll know"? Well, when the thought hit, everything else was automatic. If only that happened when it came to exercising! lol

So, the thought hit, I went grocery shopping and for the past 3 days have been doing it and feeling great! I've done this before but it was a lot of work for me to do it the first time. Primarily because it really wasn't something I wanted to do, but something I felt I needed to do. This time, I actually want to do it, and the time period popped in my head along with the thought. So I'm rolling with it.

What have I been eating, you ask? Well, for some reason I am on a Mexican food kick. I went out and bought kale to steam, shallow fry & bake...haven't cooked any of it yet. I also bought the fixings for triple succotash....haven't made it yet. I bought a lot of things to help me go along on this couple of weeks and out of all the things I bought, the only thing I have fixed out of that trip to the grocery store was a s fruit salad. Everything else I've eaten over the last 3 days came DIRECTLY OUT OF MY PANTRY!!!! Color me not so amused!!!! But I won't have to head out to the store any time soon, so I guess that's a plus.

Here's what I've made so far.

Fruit Salad (a week's worth for 1-2 people)

3 apples, diced, with skin (I used Pink Lady, Gala & Red Delicious-can add Granny Smith for a tart kick)

2 firm plums, diced, with skin
1/2 can pineapples in juice (I chose not to use fresh b/c I needed the juice also...save the fresh for smoothies)
1/2 juice from the can of pineapples
1/2 cup red or green grapes, sliced in half
1/2 cup dried fruit mixture of your choice (I used raisins, golden raisins and craisins)

I sliced the apples, spritzing each with lemon juice to keep them from browning, then sliced the rest of the fruit, dumped it in a big bowl, added the dried fruit, poured the pineapple juice in, stirred and tossed and popped it in the fridge. It will keep for a week and the apples will still have crunch. Its great. I eat it alone, add some sliced banana to a serving, add some sweetened coconut to make it a sweet treat or add it to some vanilla Greek yogurt and have a good time. The longest I've been able to keep a fruit salad like this has been 7 days. After that it starts to look a little funky.

The other thing I've made so far was some black beans and corn and had it with white rice (can use brown, but I had white left over) homemade guacamole dip and sour cream. I really can't post the recipe for that because I don't remember what I did as far as measurements. I can just say I took 1/2 an onion and softened it up in some EVOO, drained the beans from the can, defrosted some corn I bought fresh, roasted & froze, chopped up 2/3 of a tomato and threw it in the pan over the softened onions. I added rep pepper flakes, chili powder, cumin, sazon, and chipotle chili powder to it and played with adding more chili powder and chipotle chili powder until it had the flavor I was looking for. I did add some pepper to cut into the sweetness of the corn and a few hits of hot sauce at the end. See, no exact measurements, but you can fix & taste as you go. So, anyway, I had that on top of some white rice with cheese, sour cream and my guac wrapped like a burrito and it was DELISH! I say wrapped "like" a burrito because I really don't roll it well at all. I could have just torn the burrito and made myself little bites, but it was so good it didn't matter. Added with the kick of my guac and the coolness of the sour cream....YUM. If it wasn't full of beans I'd have had it for dinner too.

Mind you, of these things, the only food used that I just bought in that trip to the store....the fruit salad, except for the pineapple.

That's it for today. I'll post how things go. Three days down and I'm not bored and don't feel deprived...and I still have plenty of food to cook. But for now....

Peace out!

Three Hundred Sixty Six!!!!!!

OM Goodness I can't believe I let the day pass me by!!! Yesterday marked a year that I have been transitioning to natural hair!!! I am so glad that I made it to a year and I haven't really had any setbacks and I have had no regrets about choosing to embark on this journey. It has been so wonderful and full of so much more support and positivity than I ever expected.

As a result of making it this far, I am more confident in my decision to go natural. I'm no longer scared of my natural texture. I have learned how to handle my natural hair, and, while I have only had my hair out of a braid-type style for 4 1/2 months, I feel that I have conquered what I have allowed to defeat me for years. This past week I had a friend, who has recently decided to transition, look at me like I was crazy when I told her I really only comb my hair once to twice a week...when I shampoo and when I co wash. I had to laugh because I remember looking the same way and thinking the same thing the first time I heard it. the only thing I could think was that, as time goes on, and she has more natural hair on her head, her mind will change.

I have been blessed to experience extremely little breakage from what I can tell. When I took out my final batch of kinky twists in March I had my mom both trim and even up my hair a little bit and to do that she had to cut just over an inch or less all over my head. So the processed hair I have is still in good condition and its much further from my scalp today!  I'm still not at the point where I'm ready to chop. I know I have to get there, but I'm not there yet. I will probably end up forcing my own hand in the long run, but I'm not going to do that now. I don't get the itches and fidgety when I think about it as much as I used to, though.....That's what we call improvement!

So anyway, that's it for today's post. I've been thinking about doing some different things with my blog that would lead to more frequent posts, which is a good thing. We'll see how this brainstorming goes. When it happens, you'll know!

Be blessed folks!

Product Review

Typically, I would follow the directions of many YouTubers that I have heard over the past few months in reference to doing product reviews, which is waiting until you have used the product more than once. Some even suggest using it for a month before doing a review because you can then tell how it would really work with and in your hair, body, gut...whatever the product may be. BUT, I am oh so excited about the results of my first use of this product that I just can't wait to use it again. Call me impatient but I gotta tell somebody!!!

Previously, I wrote that I was searching for alternatives to deal with my scalp itching so much and that one of the things I purchased was Head & Shoulder's Itchy Scalp Care. Well, I used it a couple of weeks ago and it was AMAZING! Not only was it amazing but my scalp didn't itch for four days after using it!!! This is a major feat people! I have washed my hair at 1 and would be digging in my scalp by 8, so to go beyond 24 hours is more than I expected.

So, what's the first thing I liked about this product? The Shampoo was creamy. Almost the consistency of some conditioners, like a lotion almost, and it felt like it was really working in my scalp as I was using it. I was a little disappointed because I expected a little tingle to take place and there was none. There is eucalyptus in the shampoo and conditioner and that's supposed to be one of the ingredients that's really helpful to your scalp, but I also thought it would make me feel a little something....it didn't. Then I went to use the conditioner which was creamier than the shampoo and I really expected the conditioner to be as creamy as the shampoo, not creamier, but that was a good thing and as soon as I started massaging that into my hair & scalp...HELLO TINGLE! It was refreshing and felt really good. If I could have sat for hours with that conditioner on my head I would have (lol). My head loved the product and I'm going to use it again....and again...and again.

Also, in my alternative post I mentioned that I bought tea tree oil, as some people had advised me that it was also good for dealing with itchy scalp issues from a number of causes. Not knowing what actually causes my itchy scalp, other than the possibility of eczema, which I have on other parts of my body, I thought that maybe that would help too. Well, I have been using that for a little while now and I can't really tell a difference in my scalp from that alone. I'm sure it is benefiting my scalp in other ways (that I haven't looked into yet) but for the purpose of healing my itchy scalp issues, it hasn't proven itself to be something that would work on its own. I have, however, added it to my pre-poo hot oil treatment container as well as my moisture spritz that I use on my hair during the week. I do happen to love the smell. I don't know why, but the medicinal aroma it has is pleasing to me.

That's all I have for today. I plan to do a growth post in the near future because I have a lot of hair on my head! This no heat-reduced manipulation-treating my hair good thing is proving to have great results. Who knows, if I had put more effort into these kinds of things while I was processed I may have had a completely different experience over the last five or six years....but oh well. I'm not going back!

EPIC Haul!!!

Okay, this month has been a very busy one. With me doing some much needed things for myself both mentally and physically as well as getting back in the swing of being back in the swing of many things. So I am, of course, excited to be doing some of the things that I am doing (it really doesn't take much to please me, lol) and I also took some time to participate in some much appreciated (whether or not it was "needed" is yet to be seen) RETAIL THERAPY!

For those of you who were not aware, Bath and Body Works's Semi Annual Sale was this past month, in fact, it ended July 3rd. They have this sale twice a year, in June and December, and this is the time that I avail myself to stocking up on their anti-bacterial hand soaps for my bathrooms. So I walked into BBW with the intention to buy "hand soap." I picked up the mesh shopping bag to load it up with "hand soap." Then....I looked around me at the massive display of all things 75% OFF and in the "Hello, Goodbye" containers to see that many of the fragrances that I liked were on sale either because they were discontinuing them or because they were changing the packaging of the product. Either way, I couldn't beat the deals! I loaded up on shower gels, hand soaps, some of the fragrance oils that you can heat up in the little devices with a tea light (I have no idea what they are called). Long story short, I got a lot of stuff. Five trips in three weeks and seven BBW bags later and this was the end result:

   As you can see, I have

much more lotions and shower gels than hand soap.........But I can pretty much promise that I won't be going back to BBW for quite some time. I'm even considering giving away these coupons I earned while shopping....CONSIDERING! They would have to be used before 7/29, so we'll see.

Next in my retail therapy escapade was a trip to Lane Bryant. There, I stuck to my guns. For those who shop there you are very much aware that LB tends to be a tad bit overpriced and, while the clothes do tend to be long-lasting and of decent quality, trips there are better left few and far between and specified to the sale racks. Well, this time, I went specifically looking for shorts, which I haven't bought or worn in about 8 years, and tanks because the tanks were on sale and I love using them as a pop of color to my strapless sundresses. I walked out with 3 pairs of shorts and 4 tanks. Job well done!



Then, there was a trip to the outlets. Including my 5th and final trip into BBW (they had an abundance of the White Citrus shower gel that other stores had sold out of), I picked up these wonderful items:

First were these cute little babies from Adidas! I needed some new walking/workout shoes and these were on sale at an unbeatable price and they have a little bit of purple in the color scheme. Although my favorite color is blue, nothing with blue was on sale at a price that could beat these bad boys!



Next were these cuties from Nine West. Now, I must admit, these were not what I initially went in there for, but they didn't have my size in the grey (which they called black) and upon rationalizing that I have no natural toned shoes that I could wear in the colder months, I scooped these up and they are adorable! I must give myself kudos for waiting for my payday to get these also because they had gone down another $10 in price when I went back to get them.



Then there were these little puppies from Charlotte Russe. I must admit, I am not a Russe shopper and only, typically, go into the store for their accessories (I also got some earrings for $4) but I had been watching these shoes for about 4 months and finally decided to buy them and was able to get them at less than half off!!! Yay me!

Last, but certainly not least, I attended the CD Celebration Concert for my friend Derek Dunn and I purchased his sophomore project entitled "Relationship" (available on iTunes). The music is awesome and Derek is an anointed minister and amazing vocalist.

That is the end of my haul and the finale of a wonderful Fourth of July weekend! Needless to say, I won't be doing much more shopping in the near future, but it was certainly fun while it lasted!



Summer Protection

I am really...really....really ready to braid, cornrow or twist up this hair of mine for a couple of months. With it being so hot and me being the hot-natured person I am (I can sweat walking in snow with just a sweater on), its really hard for me to keep a hold on these two textures of my hair. I'm not ready to chop yet, but its just not appealing for me to start the day with pretty curls or twists and end it with straight ends, a curly middle and tightly corkscrewed roots. I mean, I can pull off a different look or two but that just doesn't look appealing on anyone.

So I think its time for me to put up my hair for the summer. I just don't know what to do with it. I'm a little against doing the cornrows because my hairline is back (LOL) and I don't want to send it away again, but I haven't decided yet what I will do. Hopefully by payday I'll have a plan in mind and a way to execute it.

It would be great if I could do my own braids. That would totally solve the problem.

I'm All Tressed Up Y'all!!!

Just wanted to share an article on a friend of mines website for her business.  She's an awesome woman with an enormous gift and an even bigger heart!  Thanks Kenyada for being of help to me along this journey!!!

http://www.alltressedup.net/makeovers/43-makeovers/403-tatianas-transitioning-journey.html

Searching For Alternatives

My scalp itches like crazy often and needs frequent moisture or lubrication. What I have found is that there are many naturals who are oh so adamantly anti grease and, while I am not, I am open to trying alternatives to see how my head responds to them. Typically, I will use Sulfur 8 regular or light formula on my scalp or the Parvaneu tee tree oil grease formula.  All three of those products would be used 2-3 times a week (not together) to keep my scalp from driving me to digging in it with my nails.

Yesterday, I started using tee tree oil on my scalp. Just the oil. Not a petroleum/petrolatum based product, just oil.  I can already tell that using it will be a daily regimen because I had to use it today as well and I am still having some itching issues. From what I have heard the benefits of tee tree oil are, it may help resolve some of my scalp issues for good. But nothing is instantaneous, so I am willing to dedicate a month to this product and see how my scalp responds to it.

I recently bought the Head & Shoulders Itchy Scalp Care  shampoo & conditioner. Like I said, I'm open to alternatives.  While this is not a product that was recommended to me by any other naturals, I have had great success with using H&S while I was processed and, if it doesn't work for me, I can always give it to my brother because that's all he uses to wash his hair, so that won't be so bad.

Like I said, my search for alternatives will continue. It takes me forever to go through grease & I can honestly say that I haven't purchased any grease in over 3 years, so if either the tee tree oil or the Head & Shoulders work, or even if they don't, I haven't hurt anything by trying.  Honestly, I would dare say that if people were washing their hair as often as they should & co-washing or clarifying on a regular basis (which I have yet to do) the issue that many naturals have regarding greases wouldn't be an issue at all.  Maybe I'm wrong, but grease hasn't done me a bit of wrong in all its years of being used on my head.

I Rocked A Shortie Doo

It was a last minute decision made on an empty stomach desperate for some bits of Chinese food to satisfy its lunch-time craving.  If I hadn't skipped breakfast, I never would have followed through with it, but I had, so I did. I had all these twists in my head that I'd put in a few days ago & put rods on the ends and just hadn't taken them down, but I didn't have time to do a twist out! What was I going to do?

This is what I did: I took out the rods and (after about 6 min of searching for a hat that I just wasn't going to find...I still haven't found it) walked out of the door sporting my, very short, roded twists.  I'm proud of myself for doing it because I have always had an issue with having short hair, or having hair that looked like it was short.  So to elect to come out with short-looking hair was a big step for me.

There are, of course, many things that I can find wrong with this decision, but I dare say those things have more to do with my issues than whether or not my hair was presentable in the way it was set. I didn't run into anyone I knew while I was out, I didn't get any weird looks, so it isn't even about how others saw me or what they thought. I just have to get used to this kind of thing because the fact of the matter is, my hair has been in this protective style all week and has had very little manipulation...which is what my hair needed in the first place.  And this turns what would be one style, into two...that's always a good thing because in the next couple of days I can take out the twists and wear it as a twist out.

Now...if I could only keep my hands out of my head! It feels sooo good!

Twist Out Triumph!!

Oh my goodness!  I am so excited!!! Today, I have had/discovered my first successful twist out of my transitioning journey. I have attempted twist outs or curly twist/braid outs before and they failed amazingly.

Here's one to the left. I had hair with twist & curl but it was a frizzy mess of a fro-like bush.  Even the jacked up flat twist or cornrow (whatever that thing is) to the side couldn't save it. The results I had, of course, did not make me excited about trying it again and I was a little upset at finding that I was only going to be able to rock roller/rod sets or flat ironed hair.  Considering my desire to reduce my heat usage, that was not good news for me.  As the months have gone by I have found ways to experiment and vary my roller/rod sets so it wasn't the same thing over and over again, and in doing that, I gained some other skills...like learning how to flat twist.

So, a couple of days ago, after my having to co-wash out the Herbal Essences feeling in my hair, I opted to twist my hair instead of rolling it right away because I really had nowhere to go that I couldn't throw a hat on my head and go. When I decided to take the twists out, I was happy to have a much more attractive look to my hair...it didn't resemble a bush, thanks to the additional nappy growth.  But I still felt like something was missing.  Like if I added something to my prep work my hair would look like it had some life.  Using the setting lotion I have on hand did not make it lively at all.

Targe' to the rescue!  I drove my life-challenged twist-out to Target and spent quite some time looking at the natural hair products they had available.  I had 2 requirements for my search: 1: I wanted a cream-based product; 2: It needed to be a product that did more than just define curls.  I hadn't narrowed for myself what that "more" would be, but purchasing a product with 1 function was not my goal.

I went specifically looking for the Kinky Curly Curling Custard.  Why? Because just about everyone uses it and I haven't heard many poor reviews of it, so of course, I want to first examine what seemed to work for everyone else. The second product I looked at was the Taliah Waajid....and I'm totally spacing on the name of her loc gel, but she has two.  One is regular hold and the other is a tight hold.  Well, both of these are gel based products. I have gel, a big bucket of it. I don't need anymore gel. So I look further down the aisle and see the Shea Moisture line.  Now, let me say, I have not heard so many good things about the Shea Moisture line in general.  Certainly not when being compared to the KC line of products, but when taking into account that I wanted a cream-based product, that was reasonably priced and of all the products available, only one was cream based, Shea Moisture's Curl Enhancing Smoothie won the product battle. So, having used that, here is today's twist out result:

All I can say is THANK GOODNESS!!!! Now I have another style in my pocket!! Woo hoo!!!

Hello...Goodbye

The short version of this post is this: Herbal Essences Hello Hydration is NOT for me!!!!

The long version: Keep reading...

I am learning my hair...and its exciting me! I used to think that it was a little...weird to hear people say that they were masters of their hair.  Of course they  should be since it is, after all, on their head. I mean, who else would master it?! But after a few months on this journey, I can say it is quite real. If that makes me weird I guess I can just add that to a pretty long list.

As I am sure I stated in my product haul post, I have not bought many new products because I am determined to use what I have in stock already first.  Save the Herbal Essences, ORS deep conditioner, I have not bought any new shampoo or conditioner products.  So, what I have been using weekly to wash my hair has been an EVOO pre-poo, either overnight or for a few hours prior to washing, and the Dove Intensive Repair line of shampoo and conditioner.  Using this regimen has left my hair feeling healthy and...supple.  When I used the Hello Hydration this past weekend, still doing a pre-poo treatment, I could tell before washing the shampoo from my hair that the line was not for me.  My hair felt stringy and dry, even though it was saturated with product and water.  It didn't feel much better after using the conditioner either so I styled my hair as needed for the weekend, but later in the week, I co-washed to get it back to itself.  I don't know what I'm going to do with the product. I could use the conditioner on my dog (seriously, I used to condition her with Thermasilk) and it would be great for her fur, but I have almost a whole bottle of shampoo left. Oh well, I guess, but that is precisely why I was determined not to purchase new products willy nilly as soon as I started.

Fuzz Is NOT the Enemy!

Ok, so, of course, this whole natural journey has me thinking about matters of hair a little differently.  Today, I am dealing with some fuzz. Not frizz...fuzz.

When I was processing my hair, the slicker the hair, the better. If it didn't lay just right, then something was wrong or off with how I was doing my hair or what I was doing to my hair. I didn't have fuzz when I was processed and for the most part, I haven't had an issue with fuzz since I've been transitioning.  Thanks to the styles I've been doing over the last nine months, there hasn't been much opportunity for fuzz to present itself and by the time it did, it was time for me to wash my hair anyway or I would refresh my roller/rod sets to eliminate the issue.

Today, however, I am wearing (I can't say "rocking" because I'm slapping a hat on this head when I leave the house) twists in the back with flat twists in the front.  Guess what! I have some fuzz at the roots.  My first inclination was to pull out my big container of Eco Styler and slick that mess down, but then I thought better of it as I realized that fuzz may be unavoidable at some times and I have to become okay with that.  I think if I learn to embrace my fuzz that I will have an easier time in the future of embracing "big hair."  I still have an aversion to the 'fro.

So, I swallowed my desire to slap some gel on it as well as the thought to re twist the twists that have a little fuzz at the roots. Wearing my own hair in twists is absolutely brand new to me, but I'm going to do it more often because I need to be doing more protective styles for my hair, especially on days when I don't have to make an appearance in public for an extended time period.  I have been experiencing a little more breakage than normal over the past couple of weeks and I am sure that has more to do with my having my hair out and not protecting my ends more. Many people would attribute it to not chopping off my processed hair but I disagree because I have done a good job of preserving my ends, save for the normal shedding, up to this point.  I will see how these protective styles go over the next few weeks but I am hoping for & expecting great results.

Responses to Me Going Natural

For the past month I have been rocking my transitioning hair.  I have only used heat for stying once (BIG change!) and I have been wearing heat-free roller sets in variations for a solid month.  I was a little anxious about doing this because I didn't know how I was going to like it, much less how other people where going to like it. But its been a month and I have gotten great responses to my journey from friends and family. I know it shouldn't matter what other people think about me going natural or if they approve of my choice, but it does.  So I'm happy that people like my mom, my siblings and some of my close friends are supporting me and are liking what they see so far.  If they didn't like it, I'd still be doing it, don't get it twisted, but it does make the journey less stressful when those you care about are supportive of what you are doing.  Even my mom said it was making her think a little more about my decision after she trimmed my ends for me and saw the result of my flat ironed hair.

Then, this past weekend I went to visit some of my family who haven't seen me in transitioning state and they all gave me rave reviews and the consensus is that I look younger....PLUS! So, once again, I'm going to try doing a twist out with the edges curled and I'll see how this goes. If it is a fail...I'll be rocking another roller set. At least I know that style works and works well

So, thanks to http://www.glorycrown.blogspot.com/ and her bringing back the "Take Back Your Hair Challenge" I am doing something I didn't think I could do...styling my hair, heat-free and treating my hair well. I can honestly say that I'm taking good care of my hair, the naps and the processed ends and as a result of that, it looks damn good!

Yay me!!!

Product Haul!

So this is my first haul post! I'm kind of excited to have the chance to do one. I'm sure there will be many others as time goes on. These are all products that I have purchased, with my own money, within the last two months. I am not being paid to review any of these products (I've heard/read other people say this...figured I'd throw it in for good measure).  I haven't used all of the products yet, so I will only be speaking on what I have used so far and I will list the rest.


Passion Fruit Curl Control Paste sculpting shine pomade by Curls

How can I put this nicely?  I hated it!!! It felt like gunk on my ends when I used it on a roller set and it felt gunky on my edges when I used it to smooth them down. I don't know how I feel about the smell either. It has a sweet smell to it, but it also smells a little plastic.  Had I known it was going to feel like that, I would not have spent the money to buy it.  Having said that, because I did spend $11 on it, I am going to hold on to it until after I do my BC to see how it holds up against strictly natural hair.  My processed hair can be a little fickle and also because it is so thin and damaged in some areas, it doesn't respond well to some products. So, all hope is not lost for this product...but I won't be using it for a couple of months.

The Tangle Teaser

I fell into the hype. Something I often try not to do, and bought this tool because I heard so many people rave about how well it worked on their transitioning hair.  That was music to my ears as someone who spends a lot of time detangling and trying not to break and damage hair that is already fragile.  So, I went shopping for it...it took a trip to three different Sally's before I was able to find one.  The verdict....loved it!!! It does a great job detangling which is what it is supposed to do.  I do have the same issue that some others have had when detangling in the shower with it slipping/flying out of my hand, but other than that, Love it.  What I have ended up doing is using my big tooth comb for shower detangling and the tangle teaser when I'm detangling after I'm done washing my hair.

Eco Styler Gel with Olive Oil

I finally bought it, after not even knowing it existed and it has a really good hold! I was surprised to find that, at least where I bought mine, there was no Eco Styler w/Olive Oil that had a softer hold.  All the containers available had the max hold of 10.  That's okay though, because I do have another Eco brand gel that I have used for years that has a softer hold of 7.  So that just means I'll be using both products depending on the style. I was surprised at how well and how quickly the Eco w/Olive Oil brought out the curls of my natural hair!  I currently have my hair slicked back on the sides, pulled to the back in a ponytail with a roller set on top (a variation of a style I saw on Youtube by prettydimples).  I used the Eco w/olive oil to slick the hair back and in some parts had to pull out the brush to de-accentuate the curls!  I've seen people use just the Eco on the youtube vids, but never thought it would happen that fast on my hair...wrong! I'm not complaining, I'm looking forward to the wash & go's I will do after I BC.

The other items I bought were little $0.99 testers of Palmers Olive Oil Formula Gro Therapy and ORS Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion.  I have yet to use either of these products because I don't want to mix up regimens so I can get a true reading on what does and doesn't work on my hair after long periods of use.  I have oil and tee tree oil treated sleep cap also. I haven't used that yet because I was sleeping in rollers for a few nights. I also bought a little spray bottle that was just too cute (and had a blue top). If its blue I gotta buy it!

Currently, I am using Herbal Essences Hello Hydration shampoo and conditioner.  I think I like my Dove Intensive Repair better for what it does for my hair. My hair comes out feeling softer after using Dove vs "doing the Herbal." I'm not going to toss them, I'll probably be out of the conditioner in a couple of co washes because I have to use a lot to get the job done when detangling and I bought the smaller bottles (they were like 2 for $5 on sale at Target).  I'm also using ORS Hair Fertilizer, though not as often as it says you should simply because I have been doing roller sets and the less you fuss with that, the better. So I am going to use continue to use that for a few months before trying the Palmer's gro therapy so I can make an true determination of which product works better.  For shine I've been using ORS Nature's Shine. I got a tester of it during a natural hair seminar/gathering and loved the results I got after using it for about 2 weeks so I bought the real deal....$5.

I do grease my scalp. I know there are many naturals who are opposed to this but as I have dry skin & scalp issues as well as some eczema issues, I use Sulfur 8 Light on my hair very lightly. I don't plop it in like a salve, but I do need that for my scalp. When I don't use it or even the Bronner Bros. extra lite I have severe itching and flaking...and that's just not attractive.

So I think that's it for this product haul. I'm still enjoying the journey and learning to be more daring and experiment with my hair more. Go me! Until next time...PEACE!

O-Kay, I'm doing it!

Kinky twists are out! I am now rocking my hair. I had planned to participate in the Take Back Your Hair Challenge that Protecting Your Crown & Glory initiated at the beginning of this month but after seeing some of the limitations of having my hair out, I don't know if I will be able to. Issue number one: During the course of the three month challenge I would only be able to use direct heat (blow dryers, flat irons, curlers) twice! The problem: My flat ironed hair looks amazing thanks to my 9 months (today) of newgrowth.  Truth be told, there are two styles that are garanteed to work on this transitioning head of mine: flat ironed & bumped or a rollerset. Twistouts look a hot mess, braid outs look as bad as the twist outs. I have not tried a bantu knot out yet but that has more to do with lack of technique on my end than not.

Still, why is it an issue that I can only do heat styling twice? Well, I'm trying to incorporate exercise (Lord knows I need it) back into my lifestyle, and one of the things that I have heard repeatedly is that it is best to rinse the sweat out of my hair after working out. So, I flat iron my hair then work out, which means I sweat (hello some curls). Then, I rinse my hair to rid it of the salty sweat (hello all curls). Then I have to either rollerset and wait for my hair to dry, or towel dry and flat iron...guess what's going to win, lol.

Now I know that flat ironing/heat styling my hair daily is not a good thing, and I wouldn't have to necessarily do it daily, but certainly more than 2x in 3 months. I could even do 2x a mo, which is an EXTREME change for my usual routine, and I think that would be the best alternative for me, to work my way down from heat styling gently as opposed to cold turkey...a 60 day recovery program, lol.

But, to bring this to a close, I do love the way my hair looks and feels now that I am transitioning. I love the texture that my curls have.
I know that is subject to change as time goes on and as I trim/chop my processed hair. But I and enjoying what I have and taking the steps to continue enjoying it. I feel confident that I will be able to keep myself going on this journey and keep a positive head. I know that it may not necessarily get easier and that is OK. As healthy as my hair looks and feels right now, it is oh so worth it to see what its going to be when I am brave enough to do the big chop.


Oh, get this! My processed hair is a lighter shade of brown than my natural hair! I've NEVER colored my hair in my life! I've always been scared it would break off from the chemical process. I don't know if I'll ever do it, but for how, my hair is colorful! lol

So, until next time!  Be blessed!

What's a Transitioner To Do?

So, I am eight months and one week post relaxer! Yay! I'm happy that I have stuck with this journey thus far. I don't think I could have or would have stuck with it this long were it not for the transitioning styles I've been doing.  Those styles have kept me from over handling my hair, handling my hair incorrectly and becoming frustrated with my hair and perming it.  My goal is to transition for at least a year and see where I am at that point, then decide if I will continue to transition or do the big chop.

The flip side of this whole process is that it has been 8 months and I have barely handled my hair. I attempted a braid out or twist out early on in this journey. I think some time in September...it was not good. I don't know if it was because I didn't have much new growth in comparison to my processed hair or not, but my processed hair did not react well to the twist out. I did do a cold wave/perm rod set and that went well. My only issue with that was not having any hair around my face. For some reason I have no problem with wearing cornrows, which take my hair completely out of my face for months on end, but having my actual hair out of my face makes me very uncomfortable.  These are the things that I, basically have to get over in order to go through this process of transitioning and go through it well. Or, what I believe well to be.

At some point I need to have the true experience of dealing with my transitioning hair.  I think it would be wrong for me to go through this whole transitioning process and not have learned how to deal with the two textures of my hair. What will I have gained if I transition with different styles of braids until I do the BC and then don't know how to handle my natural hair? How will I know what products work for me and which ones don't if I don't start somewhere?  I would hate to go through this process and come out on the other end completely ignorant about what does and doesn't work for me.

So, having said all this, what in the world and I going to do?  Am I going to try & have my hair out and let it breath for a little while after I take out these kinky twists or am I going to get cornrows, like I really want to do? I know what I need to do, but sometimes knowing that what you need and what you want are very close to you creates a fear or apprehension that you didn't know you were going to have. I'm dealing with that on a couple of things right now and I don't know what I'm going to do for either of them.

Sometimes Its Just Me

So, I'm going natural. I began this journey with two friends. Three chicks on a mission. A couple of months later, there were two.  Now, six months later there is me.  I'm not upset about it.  I kind of saw it coming.  After all, I decided to go natural because I thought that was the best option for my hair since it was breaking off so badly and the only part of it that was strong enough to withstand the breakage was the unprocessed hair.  They didn't have that problem.  They decided to try going natural to support me, but this whole thing has had me thinking today.

Why has it been so difficult for me (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) to deal with doing and facing things by myself?  I've tried many endeavors with friends and groups of people and I wasn't any more successful in them than I may have been if I'd done them on my own.  For years I've tried to do things with a buddy.  I've tried to wait for someone to do things with, I've tried to include someone in things and activities that I wanted to do but for one reason or another didn't want to do alone.  Now I'm reaching the point where that is changing.

What has prompted the change? I really think it has everything to do with the death of a very dear and exceptional friend this past October.  While he was about 30 years older than I, I have yet to meet a man in my adult life, build a relationship meant to be completely platonic and have so much in common with that person and be on the same wavelength with that person.  I mean, for real, we may have shared a brain.  I could talk to him about the serious things that I would have maybe spoken to my father about if we had a better relationship and the stupid, frivolous things that I would talk about with friends of my age.  We could have serious conversations and crack some of the most vulgar and gross jokes with each other and laugh at each other until we were sore.  He was the person in my life who was a father, friend, and counselor all at once.  Anyway, because I could gush about him for a looong time, let me move on.  One of the things he used to tell me a lot is that I didn't have to wait for someone else to go after my goal.  I didn't have to wait and see if I got a teaching gig to go and get my masters. I didn't have to wait until I was married to buy a house. I didn't have to wait until I was married to have kids, if I didn't want to and "the only person who has to deal with the outcome of [all those situations] is you. So if you want it, go for it! Those of us who love you got ya back."

I've spent a lot of time thinking about our talks and I realize that sometimes, its just me. Sometimes its just going to me that reaches the goals I want to reach.  Sometimes I can't do what I want to do with a group.  Sometimes, going in alone means finding out that I had the ability to do it, for myself and by myself, all along.  That's what I think my real problem may be. I don't know if I can do it alone an succeed.  And everything in me wishes I could be having this conversation with in right now instead of on this blog, but I can't.  But I thank God for the faith that my friend had in me and for the power he tried to instill in me.  I wish I had grabbed hold of that power while he was still here so he could have seen the fruits of his labor, but this is really the first time that the death of someone I treasured has served as the springboard for the possibility of something great for me. And this is the first time I'm not trying to shy away from it.  So, its just me going natural.  Its just me preparing for home ownership.  The other things will come in time...whether its just me or not.

Going Natural...

I've considered it before and have always chickened out.  I've never had to deal with the real texture of my hair before. By the point I took over my own haircare I was in my teens and my first relaxer was done when I was about nine...PCJ, which stands for Pressing Comb in a Jar, in case you didn't know (lol).  Before that, it was the real deal pressing comb so my mom could manage my naps enough to braid my hair.  The first time I considered going natural I was in college.  I'd had my hair in braids for quite some time and when I decided to take them out (because they were seriously on their last leg) I realized that I didn't have a perm, didn't have any money and had never done my own perm before! Cut to thoughts of me walking around campus with bald spots in my hair! Luckily, I had the smartitude to bring my mom's plug in hot comb with me that year so I pressed my own hair (with surprisingly good results) and did that for about a month or two until a dear friend of mine agreed to perm my hair for me. During that time period I was overwhelmed by the amount of work and time it took to deal with my naps. Mind you, this was in the very late 90's so there was no YouTube and no readily available, salon-free help for managing your own natural hair for the first time ever in your life (BTW, the only things I went to the salon for back then...and really now too, was for a trim. I did my own hair) so 90% of this first consideration was me pressing my hair every 3-4 days to keep the two textures looking similar. Needless to say, that didn't last long any many years have passed before I came to the point where I am today, to try it for real.

I've come to the conclusion that I have to do this for me.  Just like my repeated attempts at weight loss and my thoughts about home ownership, I can't wait for someone to do it with me or expect someone to hold my hand while I'm doing it.  I don't know why, but for some reason, that has always made a task seem daunting or overwhelming to me.  So I'm determined to do this, alone or not, and hopefully the determination in reference to this will transfer to some other things as well.

So, at this point, I haven't had a perm in 6 months. I've been transitioning with braids and thanks to many you tubers & bloggers I feel like I am on the right track.  I now know that whatever texture I'm seeing in my natural hair right now may not be the texture I end up with because, as my hair grows, the weight of it may change the curl pattern and how I take care of it will determine how my hair responds. I know I need to use more water (both to drink and to spritz) and I should moisturize while my hair is wet. Oh! And "BIG HAIR" is okay.  That's going to be a huge mental change for me as I've accumulated years of the "fried died and laid to the side" mentality.  The desire and determination to go natural, along with some life-changing events that will be shared later, is what actually inspired this blog.  In dealing with these things for the past few months I have realized that it isn't just about changes on the surface, but changes on the inside as well.  There are things that I desire for my life that I don't believe I can have until I come to terms with the real person that I am and don't allow what others think about me to dictate how I see myself or how I respond.  While I am very outspoken and very blunt 98% of the time, there are things that I often shy away from due to my own shame & lack of comfort with where I am in relation to them and I am coming to the realization that I need to come to terms with who I am, where I am and how I am because not doing so is a hindrance to me.  And it makes no sense for me to hold myself back.

I Am Me!!

I want to begin this blogging experience by stating that I am saved.  However, it is a process and a journey and I often fall short and say things and do things that are out of line with God's will for me, & sometimes out of will with what I want for myself.  There are times when the bad in me shoots out of my mouth before the good & God in me are acknowledged to prevent me from doing and saying things that are better left unsaid and undone.  Having said that, I will try to keep the things said on this blog up to snuff, but if I'm displaying the real me, some of the occurrences shared on this blog may not be...hence the warning, lol.

There was a time when I was afraid to be who I really am. I was worried that the people who were supposed to matter would not like me or value me if I didn't fit into the box of who they thought I should be and how they thought I should act.  When it became clear that there were some areas of my life in which I would not be able to be the person those people thought I should be in certain areas, I tried to focus on something else...anything else that would possibly make me worthy.  For years I fought against who I was to try and be who someone else wanted me to be, to do what someone else wanted me to do and I always fell short in one way or another.  Finally, I reached the point where I said "to hell with it" and I began to focus on being the person that I really am. The good, the bad & the ugly.  The downside??  After years of trying to be what others thought I should be, I didn't really know.  So I am currently still in a stage of self discovery.  Part of me believes I am too old to be in this phase of my life, but I didn't do it when I was younger so what choice do I have?  So here I am, at this point in my life, learning to love who I am and that the me that I am is not only acceptable, but good and worthwhile.  Are there physical things about me that I would like to change?  Of course!  Are there emotional issues that need to be worked on?  Yep.  Am I hiding or trying to push down those things anymore?  NO WAY!

I am me!! I love me!! I'm going to work on who I am so I can be the best me.  I don't want to leave this earth wishing I had done something, said something, been something that I was too scared or didn't take time to be.  I'm going to be the real me - with all that it goes along with that, now, while on this earth and give those I love, including myself, the opportunity to see the person I truly am. I'm not going to be ashamed of how I feel or what I want to do. I'm not holding back to bring about the happiness of someone else when the trade off is my own misery (while sacrifice isn't always easy, sacrifice should never be infinite and should always be reciprocated in some form).